can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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