She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
this will be a night to untag.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
