Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
