The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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