i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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