This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
