do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
