you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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