shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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