He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
