is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
