You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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