Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
