i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
