I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
