covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was born a porn star she said
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
