What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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