Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
