It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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