My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
