so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
