I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
