how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
