i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
