I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
