I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
