i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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