Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
