i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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