it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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