I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
