My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
