I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
