**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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