she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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