If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it was like eating out sand paper
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
