when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My nipple is on Facebook.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
