please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
