you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
