Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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