The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
