There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
