Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He felt like a one man threesome
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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