Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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