i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
