also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i barfeds in our rink
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
