dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize