The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
