Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
