Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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