girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
