i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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