i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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