At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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