well you can't waste a boner
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
